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Am I really drinking a bottle of red wine on my own watching How I Met Your Mother thinking about John Cusack and that artless American we all would like to marry and that American whom I have married but isn't anything like any of those brunettes but is instead a mousy blonde unlike most of everyone you've met with their Italian blood and sort of shortness but even then their measure of attractiveness that could never measure up to your beautiful blond boy who has jumped a continent for you and your child (whom, depending on her mood, is up to 70% like you according to your dad) and he, he is only the sweetest man in the world and he could have anything only he has chosen you and your god-forsaken spit of land?!

but I do, do love him, and the gorgeous green eyes he has given our child - Cerilene is lovely like no other and also hilarious and is also everything I want to do, everything I want to have in my life and more, oh for god's sake if it's just me and my husband and my child I couldn't ask for more

As much as I don't admit it, how much of HIMYM is exactly how I wished my life would be, with utterly intoxicating!) and interesting men but most of all this boy this man who has given up everything for me, everything EVERYTHING he has ever wanted, to be with me in Singapore, which is oh-so-fucking-small, just so that he may know what I'm like really and everything that has made me be the way I am, god this boy, oh fuck that this man, oh fuck that my husband, this sheer madness that I do not in any way deserve (remember those nights, drunk and lonesome in Union Square, trying to find your way home but the irresistible compulsion that found you up in Harlem at three in the morning being fucking unrelentless* at three or six or eight in the morning, loving some man you met in a Karoke bar in Alphabet City on the biggest snowstorm in 2011 and your life is different and your life is so much more

I couldn't be happier about being married (to the only guy in the world I would be married to) truly I am living the dream

(Dear Husband, I don't say this enough but how lucky I am, to be to be with you

*relentless or unrelenting was what I had meant, but twelve hours later I am thoroughly impressed that I managed to be otherwise quite precise. Unlike the glorious projectile display that swiftly followed this entry and repeated itself many times over the next three hours, a thoroughly mediocre showing in the realm of drunken vomiting on my part - perhaps I am mellowing


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Dec. 17th, 2012 03:21 pm (UTC)
This entry made me so happy--I'm so, so happy that you're so happy, and I need to write to you to catch up because my life's been emotionally hectic and I haven't had the time, but it's so lovely to see how exultant you are at your life and love and baby and it's just glorious. I'm so pleased for you, and you deserve every little bit of it.
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