Thus far I guess I've been enjoying myself, (ish?) in a really bizarre infuriating sort of way that is suitably exciting nonetheless, but mostly one just wants to go "Augh! Augh!" and not think about it at all really, if only things were so easily ignored and avoided. I daresay I'm older now, in this strange ridiculousness and oh, such inner conflict of the where do we go from here variant, oh god growing older is hard, and stupendous and brilliant but mostly ridiculous and hard I think.
I think years and years on we're all still essentially the same people, with the same sorts of people-related issues only with different names or slightly varying situations, and it seems to be, at least for me, that holy hell I honestly can't trust myself with anything, I don't think you can hold me accountable for anything nevermind age of majority or whatever, or I suppose you could but then you'd be walking into that.
Well it's suitably exciting, in a horrible oh god what now sort of way, but I suppose at twenty-one if your life can't be summed up in oh god what now that's probably maturity beyond your age and that's just inappropriate, and besides not even half as much fun.
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softplaces- january
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I mean, happy birthday! hurrrr you're an old woman now.
*hugs*
*panics about being 22 AND A HALF*
But it's exciting (ish?), at the very least? I guess it's pretty strange, and that's something at least? LOL I'm just grasping at straws here :S
I am, in fact, living in New York City with two whacky friends and we sometimes indulge in humorous antics, but according to television we should all be a)having a lot more sex with everyone we ever meet and possibly each other, and b)have a lot better decorated apartment despite being twenty-somethings with very little money.
It's still pretty cool though- most of the terror comes from the fact that we probably just can't stay like this forever and should be thinking about Grad School and The Future and big capitalized stuff like that. I mean, ten years from now I want to have KIDS- how the hell can someone prepare for something like that in just ten years??
On the plus side, it's true that every year you get older you get wiser and get to look back on your younger self and think "I was a goddamn idiot back then". I'm told this happens every year until we die, heh.
Shit, yeah, things with capitals are always somehow more intimidating! Children! Actually I'd like one within this decade, and that's just occurred to me and crap that is scary! OH GOD. Where do you figure you'll go for Grad School, what will you study, WHAT DOES YOUR FUTURE HOLD?
We used to have a lot more adventures/fun times back when I was employed and could afford anything- living hear means coffee and dessert costs like $8. I lost my main job back in January, then I worked at Fox (of all places) at a temp thing, and ever since then I've just been scraping by. I can't look for a permanent job either, since I'm leaving for Italy in a month, which creates a really irritating financial situation. Hopefully at the end of the summer I'll get another real job and the good times can begin again!
Ughhhh grad school. I have no idea, really. I didn't get into CUNY for psych&law this past year, so now I don't know. I really don't want to have to leave New York- I cannot imagine spending like, 6 years in Albany or somewhere bleh like that. Thus, in keeping with my status as a mature and responsible adult, I have been completely avoiding the issue. I just want to go back to college and keep getting BAs in different majors, why is that not a possible life path? :D
But Italy sounds absolutely amazing, god what an adventure, please take so many pictures and livejournal regularly about your exotic travels! OH BUT WHY LAW, WHY? (Ignore me, halfway through law school desperately wanting out.) I support your responsible adult ways, though! The way I figure it if it's meant to come around it will - one day decisions will just occur to you, and until then you're not meant to have accounted for these things, who am I to get in the way of destiny?
You're quite right; people who reach 21 and don't think Oh god what now are clearly sociopaths. No-one has that kind of direction and drive, surely? Better to pootle about until you've figured out what you want organically than try to force an epiphany. In other words, have as much fun as you can and eventually what you're meant to do will come to you when the time is right *hugs*
In conclusion: eat some cake, it's your birthday!
LOL I don't know, I've met my fair share of terrifying motivated sorts! I think 'pootle' has to be the best word ever! Do you normally enjoy your birthdays, or are birthdays supposed to be universally confounding and strange, and occasionally in good ways?
What is it you're doing now, anyways? Crap I've been terrible at keeping up, every year I get worse and worse at livejournalling generally. :S
just got back from germany and finishing up all the paperwork and doodads so that I can start my internship on the 15th. :)
ps. No idea if you've always had this as I haven't been livejournalling much lately, but lovelovelove the emmy the great quotation on your profile! eugh, I love her.
Yes, yes I love her too! I've been terrible livejournalling lately too, but Emmy the Great - I've loved her for maybe half a year or more? She's also so cute! I especially love her cover of the Pixies' Where Is My Mind! Do you like Laura Marling too, and the Mystery Jets?
And yes, Laura Marling! I'm pretty much in love with that whole scene haha. I'm thinking of seeing Emmy and Laura again this summer, but I don't know if it will have the same vibe now that they're playing in much larger venues. Though, I guess I've not seen Emmy properly; I kept passing up on her headline gigs because she used to play them all the time and they clashed with work, but now it's been like two years and I haven't seen her :c
Eugh, talking about this makes me feel a bit sad. My laptop died on me last week and I'm suffering from itunes withdrawal because I'm too lazy to get my laptop going again.
Who else is part of that scene anyway? Apart from those acts I'm pretty oblivious, and there's nothing I love more than new music! I'm pretty sure it'll be a bit different though (not like I would know having seen them never, but from live recordings maybe?) it seems like it may be a bit less intimate, but even then you still should definitely see them!
!!! If your laptop is dead how are we having this conversation?! WHAT DEVILRY IS THIS? Well what I do when I'm similarly crippled is youtube like mad - I highly recommend you do the same!
I feel quite bad saying scene because apparently all of the acts hate being called one, but I guess all of the London based folky (or anti-folk) bands? So like Emmy, Laura Marling, Noah and the Whale, Mumford and Sons, Johnny Flynn and lots of other bands you usually find in the support acts. The last four seem to hang out together which is why I think of them as a scene, but there was some sort of falling out between Emmy and Noah & the Whale? I think it involved Laura Marling. Also, lots of other good artists like Laura Groves/Blue Roses, Alessi's Ark; oh and not really in the "scene" but my friend just introduced me to Alela Diane who is lovely!
I am using the home PC! It is very strange and yes I have been youtubing so much! It is quite good actually because I have listened more to artists I neglected on itunes like jaymay and Priscilla Ahn!
Oh send me music please, if you have anything in particular! And also, EMMY THE GREAT! <3! IS COMING! TO SINGAPORE!